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After the previous day, Joyce rewarded everyone with a trip to Lake Geneva.  First they visited St. Vincent, picnicked at the church, walked around the lake checking out the vendors and trying to spend all their Swiss francs before they left Switzerland.  (It is rumored that someone paid $11.00 for 3 scoops).

If you remember, car directions are provided by “Ida” the mobile GPS brought from the US.  There is also a GPS in the BMW, named Helga with the British accent.  The group began having issues with Ida.  Below is the interview with Ida.

Moderator:  “Ida, is it true that you have been unresponsive and unwilling to provide directions to the group leaving them lost in Switzerland?”

Ida:  “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Hard hitting moderator:  Is it true that they have had to reboot you on several occasions.?  How do you feel about creating undue stress and being the cause of loud voices raised in the car?

Ida:  “What? Who pulls out someone’s power source.  It is very painful.  There was stress in that car before I went silent.  That Debbie sits on the edge of her seat gripping the door handle all the time.  Larry and Jerry have been awake more than usual but don’t think that it my fault – they seem to be able to sleep through anything”.

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Ida:  ……………

Helga:  I am available any jolly old time for help.

 

 

After talking to a hiking professional the day before, the group thought that they might step up their game.  They drove up to the giant ski lift, Glacier 3000, ( costs 60 euro to ride) to begin their hike.  Along the way, they stopped at a sculpture of wolves.  (Debbie wants to become a professional hiker / sculptor).  But back to the hike, they are going to hike up and down this time.

Let’s examine the technical aspects of this hike.  It contained several phases to test our hikers resolve and skill levels.

Part one:

• • Name: aptly named Lake trash (We just made that up).  This phase began behind the Glacier 3000 where trash is stored and finished at a lake.
  • Hurtles on this part of the hike contained mud, tree roots, and younger hikers passing them up.
  • Impact on the hikers – various stink eyes thrown and initial communication break down, some trust issues among the team members when they discovered that they could have driven to the lake.
  • Length of time 30 to 45 minutes

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Part Two:

• • Name: Cow Path
  • Hurtles Dodgin cows and cow patties.
  • Impact on the hikers – Loss of focus by Joyce as she petted the cows
  • Length of time 10 minutes

Part Three

• • Name:  Rock Journey
  • Hurdles:  Freaking rocks everywhere.  Small and large rocks trying to trip the hikers as they climbed toward a lake.
  • Impact on the Hikers:  Team cohesiveness began to break down, no communication as difficulty breathing, lots of breaks, Debbie’s most frequent phase becomes “Bloody Hell” and throwing of rocks down the hill.   Extreme disappointment at size of little lake.  Grumpiness sets in
  • Length of time:  45 to 60 minutes

Part Four

• • Name:  Lake Walk
  • Hurdles- No Lake – Where is the lake?
  • Impact on the Hikers:   Lost the trail for a while, tired of walking up hills, whining,  and stink eyes thrown at whiners.   Finally saw a lake in the distance.
  • Length of time: 45 minutes to an hour

Part Five:

• Name: The turnaround – Making our way back to the original lake.
• Hurdles: Not sure if the path exists, back in a smaller rock field
• Impact on the Hikers:  Team split with some sticking to the road and others wandering through meadows.  Stink eye to new hikers who looked fresh and were laughing.  Saw sheep and yelled at them.  (Hikers might be delirious as Larry starts singing the Sound of Music loud enough for the others to hear him.)
• Length of time:  1 hour

Joyce asked after this phase if anyone wanted to stop at the lake for a nice drink and treat.  Hikers declined and stomped on to the final part.

Part Six:

• Name: Race to the finish
• Hurdles: Back down the beginning climb, mud, roots,
• Impact on the hikers:  Increased speed (Debbie ran off from the others), some hikers got their clothes dirty in the mud, euphoria feeling of survived, high 5’s all around.

Hike statistics:  The hike was close to 9 miles and took 6 hours.  The hikers were extremely happy to complete successfully and thankful to Joyce for inspiring them.  (There was some mumbled “I am never doing that again rumored to have been heard”.)

 

The wine club with Joyce’s help arranged a filed trip to a winery.  The group met at the bus station to start the tour.  They then rode the public bus to a wine field.  (Kind of weird – my bus stop is the winery).   Ten people got off the bus.  There was the guide, observer guide, the intrepid four (that would be our group), a British couple and a German couple.  Everyone spoke English so the tour was in English.

Our guide introduced herself but none of the four could understand what the guide said her name was.   Let’s call her Markita.  She is a professional hiker.  (Larry wanted to tell Markita about his recent hiking experiences but the other three were able to convince him not to talk about it). No one is sure what a professional hiker goes but she did have a badge.  (Debbie thinks that Joyce should give out hiking badges – “I survived”  “I got wet”  “I got lost”.

The tour walked through a vineyard where the grapes were being picked.  The grapes are picked by hand.  Markita showed the group how to graft grapes.  Joyce kept sneaking  grapes off the vine to eat.

Markita did quiz Larry about wine.  (She must have known that he was a wine club president).

Markita:  “What is your favorite wine”.

Larry:  “Merlot”.  (Answer should have been box wine).

Markita:  “When do you drink wine?”

Larry:  “On Special occasions, for dinner”  (Answer should have been – if I find it cheap enough)
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Markita:  What was the last wine that you drank?

Larry:  “It was a red wine”  (Answer should have been – the 1.99 Euro special that I found in Frankfurt).

Larry soon dropped to the back of the line so he would not be quizzed any more.  Our next stop was the winery.  Markita introduced us to the winemaker, Alod, (actually Harold). Harold is also a wrestler.  (Larry was star struck).

It became a tasting extravaganza.  The first tasting was pure grape juice followed by 1 day fermented juice.  The tasting continued with two white wines, a red wine and some kind of grappa and white wine mix called le douce Tecornue.

On the bus ride home, Debbie became responsible for tipping the guide. (Not sure how this happened).  The German and British couples had already decided on an amount so gave the money to Debbie when they departed. (They might qualify for Les Cheap Girls).  Good find by Joyce as the tour was free except for the tip.

The wine club made several purchases and felt that the day was a great success.  They have since taunted the chocolate club about their successful field trip.  Debbie has retreated to her room with a box of chocolate.

The first Switzerland hike was scheduled for today.  They began the day with a check in with the information center just to keep them on their toes.  They suggested a hike which included a village, Taveyanne.   The group could sit and admire the view while sipping a warm drink.   Sounds like a good idea.

The hike began with the Diablerets – Vilars – Gryon ski lift  to the top.  They took enough pictures at the top to send everyone a different picture for Christmas.  Look how happy they look starting off.   They proceeded through a meadow and down the road listening to cow bells as they walked.  Coats came on and off as the group warmed up.  Here is how the information desk described the path.

“It is a path but cars may drive on it.  (Wouldn’t that technically be a road?)  You can walk in the middle of the path and move for the cars.  We do not mind if you move.”  (Debbie decided that the info girl just wanted to make Joyce happy and called the road a path.  She was after all the weakest link).  There were some “spectacular views”.

The village, Taveyanne seemed deserted except for construction workers.  They walked through the village  looking for the restaurant for a warm drink.  They finally stumble on the restaurant with music playing and doors open.  Unfortunately, there are no people.

Larry:  “Hello, is anyone here?”

Joyce:  “HELLO, where are you? ” (Debbie has made a dart in visit but is afraid of being arrested.  Jerry is standing outside looking around)

Restaurant Person:  “We are closed.  No Service today!”

Someone needs to tell the information center that they are closed and that restaurant needs to shut the doors.   Now the group discovered a fundamental issue with hiking in Switzerland.  There were signs but they really don’t point to anywhere.  The signs suggested a general direction.  Somehow the hike ended up on a bike path but on the upside, they walked by some pigs. ( Pigs don’t have to wear bells extra information for blog readers).  They made there way down the bike path, to the road, finally to the foot path and back to the car.  Joyce did not want to call it a hike because she did not get to sit at the restaurant and the hike was on a road.  Debbie insisted on calling it a hike because it took more than a couple of hours, she walked through a field and followed signs (perhaps incorrectly).

Since it was a short day, the group wanted to share some interesting foods.

• Larry has started his own line of drinks.  (Larry took several pictures of his drink selections)
• Joyce made her own appetizer plate with sausage, cheese and grape juice.
• Tuna with tomato sauce and peas – This was accidentally purchased as a can of tuna but Larry is quite taken with it.   Debbie is not.

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Today was a more relaxed day.  (This implies that you can be relaxed when driving down the mountain which is something Debbie can only dream about).  They started out the  day at the Information Center.  For all you novice travelers, this is a Joyce must.  You always start at the Information Center.  Joyce should have a bubble above her head saying “Advanced User”.   She asks hard questions which make the more inexperienced information people’s eyes dart around and their hands sweat.  They often have to call someone over to help and then try to run away.  You always leave with maps and other stuff.  Debbie knows how to run around and pick up pamphlets.  Debbie’s real job is to carry stuff for Joyce and prompt for questions.  (It is like being a political aide to the governor that whispers into the governor’s ear  this is Jack and he has two children that are 9 and 11, his wife’s name is Sandra…you like Jack…. right before the governor greets Jack).

Off they went to the winding trail down to Montreux.  The intent was to visit old town and walk around the lake and surrounding area.  So, merrily off they go to Old Town following their GPS’s and then hit traffic.  Curving, inching looking for a place to park.  Hundreds of people out for the beautiful day.     Then the police blocked off the roads for the GPS targets.  Up they went in the car, everyone looking for a parking spot.  They even tried a parking garage only to have to leave as there were no parking places.   Someone even had the nerve to park at them.  At this point, Old Town was abandoned and they retreated to a much quieter part of the lake.

After they found a parking spot, Joyce ordered cheese fondue for lunch.  They enjoyed the afternoon, visited a church and strolled around part of the lake.

Debbie believes that driving around Switzerland is very stressful for her and the GPS ladies.  (Recalculating… Recalculating)
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After having conquered the German Alps and honing hiking skills, it was time to move on to Switzerland.  The group left early for a 6 hour drive to Villars, Switzerland.   They settled into the sports wagon for a long drive.  Joyce got them to Switzerland and then took a deserved nap in the back while Jerry finished the drive.

The last leg was the drive to Villars.  Here is an interesting fact: Villars-sur-Ollon is the home of the once well known Ollon–Villars hillclimb. Racing drivers from all over the world would come to participate in this internationally renowned event. Starting in the small town of Ollon, at the base of the mountain, and covering 8 km of mountain road, arriving at the top of the mountain, in Villars. The event was popular in the fifties and early sixties, before laws were passed banning motor racing in Switzerland.  Here is another interesting fact:  Debbie is a big chicken and kept her eyes covered for most of the drive up the mountain. They are lucky that she did not scream at each curve.  It was somewhat embarrassing for the other 3 when she got out and kissed the ground.

Since arriving in Switzerland, the group has learned several facts that they would like to share.

• A Swiss motorway vignette is required to use the national motorways. It’s a sticker you need to apply on the inside of the windshield of your car.  Austria and Switzerland require one.  Germany does not require but they charge for toilets.  (I just added that last part).
• Switzerland really cares about those vignettes.   The police stands at the border checking cars and there is a big fine.  Joyce took care of it and got stickers for all the countries.  The rest of the group were clueless and would have ended up in the slammer.
• Ollon-Villars has two of the top 5 most expensive boarding schools in the world.  Both over $100,000 a year.  You know that Les Cheap girls are in the wrong place.
• It cost $60.00 to ride the Glacier 3000 to the glacier one time.
• A hamburger costs $20.00 although we have seen $49 on at a remote location.
• Switzerland is part of the EU.
• Switzerland uses the Swiss Frank not Euros.  Exchange rate is about 1 to 1 for US
• Switzerland has 4 official languages – German, French, Italian and Romansh.  Debbie at least was shocked that everyone in Villars spoke French.
• Switzerland has lots of curvy roads that go up and down causing Debbie to put on pretend brakes
• Cows really do wear cowbells
• Lake Geneva is really big.  It is 45 miles long.
• The hiking signs are not very good and people can get lost.

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Joyce was gradually increasing hiking levels in preparation for today’s big hike.  (Debbie says that technically no one explained this to her that things were going to get harder.)  They were hiking to Hollentalklamm and into a bigger and more robust gorge.  The hike was scheduled to take  2 hours one way through the ravine.  After the ravine, the group could, at their discretion, proceed to the Hollentalangerhutte (hut) for “spectacular views”.

The parking lot had lots of serious hikers.  (Our group didn’t fall into serious yet).  The four got ready and and headed out.  Just to be safe, Joyce paid for 8 hours parking.  (An extraordinary thing for a Les Cheap girl to do).  They did notice that only one other hiking group headed in their direction and the four were soon passed.  The group had a great time playing around, stopping at the benches and walking under the shady trees.  The only problem was that the trail continued to add switchbacks going steadily up.  They hiked on dirt trails, gravel trails and  roads.   They hiked through streams and forests.  They hiked over bridges, rocks, and roots.  All going up, up, up and all without seeing any other hikers.  Two hours later with much relief, they came to the beginning of the ravine.

Now you are thinking, these are experienced gorge people, they have been through one ravine not a problem for them.  Here is how the brochure describes the gorge. “A 150 meters deep gorge, a lot of waterfalls, huge rocks, and boulders, a narrow path and small bridges and tunnels invite you to an adventure.  What the brochure doesn’t tell you is that you will have a wet adventure.  (Jennifer, good news for you when you borrow Mom’s hiking boots – they are waterproof tested).  Your clothes will get wet, your backpack will get wet, water will dump on you and you can shake it off like a dog.  It is wetter in the tunnels than out of the tunnels.  (but of course you won’t understand that for a while).  Some of the tunnels are long and pitch black.  It was similar to playing blindman’s bluff but wet.  (If you never played Blindman’s bluff ask someone older about the game)  It was amazing but a wet amazing.  The group stumbled out at the other end after about  1 hour.

They immediately plopped down on the trail to eat lunch.  Larry said it was kind of like eating in the middle of the road.  Other  people continued to come out of the gorge with a dazed look shaking water off and walked around the four.

After lunch, Joyce brought up the spectacular views at the Hut.  Once the other three heard “Spectacular Views, they knew that they were going to the hut.  Joyce finds the words “Spectacular Views” irresistible.  ( The other three beg of you, don’t use those words describing anything to Joyce).  So off they went to the hut perhaps not as happily as 3 hours ago but nevertheless off again.  It was also uphill the whole dang way.  You will notice fewer pictures were taken on this portion.  After 1.5 hours, they reached the hut which served food and had a view.  Debbie sat down at the cafe and dared anyone to tell her that they were not eating there.  Everyone was properly supportive of the break.  Total time elapsed one way 4.5 hours.

By now it was 2:30 in the afternoon, so they decided that they needed to start back.  Back it was to the gorge and then down.  The group did discover a shorter path back to the car.  Unfortunately, they also discovered the Slip and Slide.  Thus began the contest of “Last Person Standing”.  As Jerry was leading the group down the clay and gravel road, he suddenly began to flail, went down, bounced and rolled across the road.   (We are not kidding here.  Debbie was gobsmacked with her mouth hanging open as Jerry rolled across the trail). Bam! first man down!
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The other three started slipping and sliding but were able with their sticks to stay up.  Debbie decided to get off the road and make her way down through the grass.  Larry followed.  Suddenly, Larry went down and started shouting for Debbie to get out of the way as he was coming through.  Debbie stood there frozen, like a deer in the headlights, until Larry yelled that he couldn’t hold it anymore and was going to blow.  Miraculously, Debbie was able to dodge Larry as he slid by.  Bam!  Second Man down!

Debbie and Joyce were the only two still unscathed on the treacherous trail.  Debbie traversed over to a portion of the road with dirt steps held together by wooden frames.  Debbie announced to Joyce that these steps were just the thing to keep them standing.  As the words left Debbie’s lips, she began to  slowly and oh so gracefully to slide down until her butt was sitting on the wooden frames.  Bam! Third person down.  Joyce won the game of “Last Person Standing” as she ever so slowly crept down the trail.  The group was happy to report that none of the  three suffered any injuries except to their pride.  Jerry was awarded the most spectacular fall,, Larry most considerate fall and Debbie most graceful fall.

The rest of the descent was uneventful.  Total descent time 2 hours 45 minutes.  They think that they now qualify as “Serious Hikers”.

 

Joyce felt it was time to step up the group’s hiking game.  Unfortunately, Larry woke up not feeling 100% so opted to stay in for the day.  The remaining trio headed off to the cable car to ride to the top of the mountain and hike down.  How thoughtful of Joyce to have a hike down.  Isn’t that nice?

They purchased a one way ticket on the Alpspitzbahn from Garmisch.   The thought was that they would hike all the way down the mountain.  Off they went in a packed car.   As the cable car ascended, snow became more prevalent.  By the time that the car reached the top, the ground was snow covered.

Debbie:  “Are we hiking in the snow?”

Joyce:  “It would appear so.”

Debbie “Are we hiking in the snow?”

Joyce:  “Yes”

Debbie:  “Are we hiking down there?   It is all snow”  ( Debbie likes to keep questioning until you give an answer that she likes).

Joyce:  “Ye’s (Joyce finds it more effective to keep her answers short.)

Debbie was shocked.  Luckily, she is a bit paranoid about being cold while hiking so had brought almost all of her hiking clothes  plus a stylish sun hat – note:  sarcasm here about sun hat being stylish.

First task scramble up the icy and snowy path to the viewing platform for the prerequisite pictures.  Debbie discovered a secret path down involving steps and no snow so did not slide down the path in front of 100 tourists.

Off they go in military formation on the next training  event.  The three make their way down the first series of switchbacks and Joyce calls a halt.

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Debbie:  “What?”

Joyce:  “It might be too hard for us.  Let’s vote”.

Jerry:  “I vote yes”   (Debbie thinks – So Jerry is the one behind all of these hikes.  Joyce is just a puppet.)

Debbie:  “I vote yes.   It is too hard to walk back up the switchbacks in the snow.  At least if I fall, I will be sliding in the correct direction.”  (Debbie wonders if Larry is sleeping at the flat.)

The group continues down and figures out the best way to proceed.  They found it easier to walk in the new snow.  Everyone has some slipping and sliding but found the walking sticks were an asset.  Jerry had some more exciting moments as he didn’t have walking sticks.

They finally left the snow and arrived at the Kreuzeckbahn lift.  They were going to hike to the bottom but discovered that the hike was on a downward gravel road in the sun and not very interesting compared to the snow hike.  They purchased the needed one way ticket and rode the lift down.  Total hike time: 3.5 hours.

Final stop for the day was Eibsee Lake.    The hotel was hosting a Morgan car rally.  Trivia Moment: The Morgan Motor Company is a family-owned British motor car manufacturer that was founded in 1910.  Morgan has stated that they produce “in excess of 1300” cars per year, all assembled by hand. The waiting list for a car is approximately six months, although it has been as long as ten years in the past. .  Debbie noticed the owners are mostly white haired men with  blonde companions.  You also have to strap your luggage to the outside of the car.  Cultural Moment:  Eibsee is a lake in Bavaria, Eibsee lies at the base of the Zugspitze, Germany’s highest mountain.

The group returned feeling satisfied with the hike and happy that Joyce encouraged them to go.  Larry was feeling better but sad that he did not have snow experience.  Jerry  had time to walk to town to buy some walking sticks.

 

Today was a rainy day so everyone took the day off.  They walked to town, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, longest city name ever.  (Debbie can’t pronounce it so don’t ask her.  Ask Larry where he stayed.)  The group looked around and watched a double 18 wheeler try to go around a round about.  (Not possible).  Joyce bought a bakery treat for everyone.  (Joyce was team building with the hiking team).  They stumbled on the Garmisch-Partenkirchen, St. Martin Church.  It was a very impressive church for such a small city.

In the afternoon, Debbie and Joyce drove to Oberammergau to shop at Christmas stores.  It is a quaint town that specialized in wood working.  They walked around and visited shops.  Debbie contributed to the local economy in a big way.  Joyce and Debbie got slightly lost.  (It is possible to get just a little bit lost).  They found the city church in Oberammergau, St. Peter and Paul.  They returned to find Jerry and Larry binge watching Netflix.
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