The Wheels of the Bus Do Not Go Round and Round

Venice does not have any cars so you either travel by foot or by boat.  There are different classes of boats.

• Gondolas –  The most traditional boat where someone rows you around in a striped shirt and sings to you.  Cost:  80 to 100 Euros for 40 minutes (No singing included – They will take pictures with you)
• Water Taxi – Higher speed flashier boat (Larry and Greg would prefer the flashy boat but costs are high).  Cost:  70 euro or more from airport to hotel
• Water Bus (Vaporetti) – water buses are the equivalent of buses and subways on dry land. The public-transportation authority in Venice, operates vaporetti and other water buses around the clock, with a fleet of 150 boats and routes that extend into the far corners of the Venetian Lagoon.  Weekly pass: 60 Euro

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I bet that you can guess which option Les Cheap Girls chose.  There will be no gondola pictures.  Yes, you are correct – A Vaporetti

Here is the procedure for riding a Vaporetti (water bus).

1. Find a vaporetti station.  This can be confusing and hard to do in twisty streets.  Look up if you get lost.  (This is not obvious to all of the group – actually hardly any of the group.  We run and up and down streets a lot and some do not know the meaning of Vaporetti.  In fact, Debbie just tested Larry and he failed.)
2. Figure out which direction to go.  Joyce is an expert.  The others have failed at this repeatedly causing some long, long rides around the island.  (Larry and Jerry call them scenic).
3. Check the validity of your card.  Rumor is that it just sometimes stops working leading to a 60 euro fine.  (Fortunately, this has not occurred to our group.  However, the lady at the airport told us to do this).
4. Walk onto the loading dock.  You may need your sea legs as it can rock and roll
5. If you see the boat coming,  push and crowd up to the door
6. BRACE YOURSELF as the boat will whack the dock and send you staggering across the loading area (This is often a good way to meet your Italian neighbors)
7. Let others get off the boat  (Actually the boat guy makes you wait but it sounded better if we acted like we were waiting)
8. Load the boat (Remember those how many people can you get in a Volkswagen bug challenges?  Similar to that.  The boat holds 100 to 200 people that all prefer to stand by the door)
9. Boat guy yells at you to move into the boat
10. Walk in and look sad that they are no seats for you (Except for Joyce that will sit in the handicap seats and was kicked out by two ladies on crutches.  Joyce was very gracious but she did get the nod).
11. Find a handhold quickly as the boat will again whack the dock a couple of time on the way out.  (Usually a teeth jarring whack designed to wake all sleeping passengers and knock standing people down.)
12. Watch everyone who looks like they might be getting off at the next stop so that you can score a seat.  (Debbie is really good at this.  Debbie will even crawl over Italians giving her the stink-eye.  Today she refused to give up an aisle seat and made two large men crawl over her.  She thinks that she could be Italian. )
13. If you are still standing at the next stop and haven’t scored a set yet, remember to hold on as the boat whacks the dock a couple of times arriving and leaving.  (Debbie thinks the boat guys try to see how many they can knock over at a stop).
14. When your stop is near, jump up, crowd the front and hold on to something as you try to walk through the boat
15. Get off the boat
16. Kiss the ground

Greg’s first response when he stepped on the floating dock “This is risky…”  He and Joyce then exited to stand on firm ground.  Debbie bravely remained on the dock.  (Remember Joyce and Debbie had to wear buckets around their neck on one memorable Hawaiian boat trip).

There is currently a contest between boat riders and walkers as to who can get to a destination first.  The score is 1 to 1.  Debbie was concerned about boat safety until Joyce told her that she could walk to shore if there was a problem.  (Debbie is unsure of Joyce’s facts but does not intend to test the theory).