Zombie Land

Monday night, Debbie was shocked to discover that United had re-planned her flight.  For all you doubters, no they didn’t just change the time.  The flight number and time were  switched.  It turned out to be a better time.  No need to tell the people traveling of the change, eh United?

Jennifer graciously ubered her parents to the airport.  They suspect that Jennifer may be happy to have Debbie and Larry and all the packing discussion/ anxiety out of the house.  Debbie did feel better after she walked in on a lady with her suitcase open on the bathroom floor frantically pawing through luggage.  In fact, Debbie felt rather awesome.

With no meals included on the flight and Debbie’s refusal to purchase as a fundamental principle to live by, they rushed to the Newark food court for dinner.  Larry left to get sugar and did not return for several minutes.  Enough that Debbie realized that he might have gotten lost.  And lost he was without a phone as Debbie had everything.  After wandering around for awhile, Larry suddenly popped back into the food court and confessed that he had been lost.

Our trip to Paris was uneventful except for the exploding pen incident (See previous blog).  As we were preparing for landing, the first sign of infection reared it’s ugly head. Larry commented on how light it was outside.  Debbie replied that it was what she expected, paused and asked “What time do you think it is?”  Larry replied “1:30.  Debbie said “No, 7:30 A.M.    Then they landed at Charles DeGaulle Zombieland Airport where most of the people wander aimlessly and the staff has been prepared to deal with Zombies.  Debbie, Larry, Greg and Don were all infected during their visit.

Information Booth Actual Answers – I can’t make this stuff up

Where do they sell the weekly train ticket pass?  At the train station 

Where do they sell the Paris Museum passes?  In Paris

No, where in the airport?  I know you can get it in Paris.  I can’t answer questions about the airport.

Eventually, Debbie and Larry collected their luggage and where given a map to the train station (Terminal 3) that Debbie clutched in her hand for the next 4 hours.    (BTW – No one could explain why terminal order is 1, 3, 2.  Terminal 3 is after Terminal 1 – Is this some secret Zombie code?).  About an hour after Debbie and Larry landed, Greg and Don arrived.   Debbie went in search of museum passes leaving Larry to wait at the train station. Debbie began having her own Zombie infection.  She went in the wrong direction on the CDGVAL train, she waited on an out of service platform for awhile, wandered around aimlessly for awhile and finally found the passes in terminal 2 (Not in Paris as directed).  She noticed several military soldiers with machine guns (Dare we say, zombie fighters?) sweeping the airport and heard that flights and the train was shut down.    After a moment or more of panic, Debbie decided to just go stand on a train and see if it left.  It did eventually return to Terminal 3.  There might be a case that Debbie was slightly lost.

During this time, it is suspected that the zombies captured Greg and Don, as shortly after landing they went incommunicado for an hour or more.  When they re-emerged (freed by the zombie fighters) they were still fighting the infection.  Greg texted that they were on their way aided by a French architect freedom fighter.  (He didn’t really say the freedom fighter part – I just made that up).  They needed help because the trains were shut down and couldn’t find the bus to Terminal 3.  After 45 minutes or so, Debbie and Larry started receiving texts.

Greg:  We are almost there.  We are by Departure Window 10  How do we find you?
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Debbie:  Are you in terminal 3?     (Note to reader: There are no departure windows  in Terminal 3)

Greg:  Yes at Terminal C

Debbie:  We are at the train station

Greg:  Almost (NOT)

…………..Time Passing ……………………………………

Greg:  We are back on a train again.  5 minutes per our guide (French zombie freedom fighter) who found us struggling again.

In a few minutes, Don and Greg show up with the story that they were in Terminal 2 lost again when the lady who had helped them the first time saw them wandering aimlessly.  She stopped what she was doing and personally escorted them to the train station.

The group of 4 fled the airport in a taxi where they cleverly paid much more money than the fixed price taxi fee from the airport.

Joyce and Gerry arrived at a different airport with no major issues and paid the negotiated taxi rate. (Okay, yes, they paid half the price but were not fleeing from zombies).  It can only be assumed that Charles DeGaulle airport is a zombie battle ground trying to convert arriving passengers or that the airport is confusing and lack of sleep may impact some people negatively.

I am going with Zombie Land.